There are times within a relationship where problems may arise, or things don't turn out to be like they were expected. Some people in relationships want to try to fix what happened, and sometimes people simply want to just break up. Sometimes breaking up with someone can just make more problems, so that's why it needs to be so deeply considered. It can leave one end of the breakup with emotional trauma, even depression. So when it comes to breaking up with someone you always need to consider their feelings first. If you're going to hurt someone by breaking up with them, you might as well do it in a mature and civil manner.
One of the main factors that can be credited to the reason that people break up is someone in the relationship losing their feelings. This can be very difficult, if the relationship went long-term, and there is a lot of connection between the two. A partner may be wanting to be single, they may feel incompatible to the other person, or there may have been someone else that their attention has turned to.
Before you should EVER consider breaking up with someone, you should be absolutely certain that breaking up is what you want to do. It needs to be realized that once you hurt someone by breaking up with them, any future relationship with this person is going to be very difficult. Look at it as if once you break up with your partner, that you will never get the chance to date them again.
If you are certain that you would like to break up with your partner, and then act on it. Don't allow your fears or worries cause you to back out of making the move, because then the relationship is left with one end in a position that the person doesn't want to be in. That practically defeats the purpose of the relationship, does it not? If you feel there is no other way of fixing any problems between you and your partner, then make the move on ending the relationship. Understand that if you want to break up with someone, that you should do it quickly. It would be unnerving to find out that someone that you were dating has had thoughts of breaking up for quite some time, but could never do it.
Do not simply leave your partner in a position where they feel abandoned. This will make things much more difficult for them. You need to give that person closure; it's not fair to them that they should suffer for your actions. This is true, unless your partner did something within the relationship that you could certainly justify you breaking up with them. Be sure to plan the breakup, it would be terrible to finally make the move, then do it in the worst way possible. Look for ways to making the breakup with the least amount of emotional pain as possible. Plan where you intend to make the breakup, and not on the internet or over the phone. Breaking up while not in person shows a tremendous level of disrespect, and will only make things worse.
Be ready to give a reason, there isn't a person on the planet who wouldn't ask for one. The point is to be honest, not immature or disrespectful. You are breaking up with them, so you can at least give them the reason why. Be sure that you're reasoning is clear, not that you just say something vague, if you are serious about breaking up, which you should be, then tell the truth. Don't go off and tell them things that catalyzed it, like insults or opinions.
Once it is done, try not to be around that person. The point being that if you tend to be around them, look at it like you are doing nothing less than torturing them. Allow them to come to you to be friends again, all because you were okay with what happened doesn't mean that your ex is.
Be honest and truthful, because it will greatly assist you in the long run. And be sure to have respect for the person you broke up with. The best way to look at it is to think how you would want it to happen.
Jeff Ryan creates self-help articles on the topic of relationship advice.
To learn more about how to properly break up with someone, go to the article on
How To Break Up With Someone.
